Chapter 14: Pathways to Personal Growth

            I am very thankful to this course, because it has really opened my mind in so many ways.  The weekly blogs and readings along with the discussions and presentations in class have helped me to really reflect more on my past, present, and future. Topics that I have only touched upon in daily life, I have been able to go into more depth with. Even though this class is coming to a close, I don’t want this to end here. This reflection should continue throughout my life in order to make the most out of my potential and meaning of life.

            In order to do this, I plan to continue journal writing. This is something I have done since I was a child. I have piles of diaries that I have filled to the brim of stories about my experiences. I would try to write every night before I would go to bed. There were certain times in my life where I missed writing in my journal because I got too busy or didn’t have any time. There is some regret there about not always documenting my life, but I have do realize that it’s okay. I realize I had made it a task or chore rather than something I did just because I felt like it.

            Now I plan to change a couple of things. First off, I want to write more about my feelings rather than just about what I did for the day. I think it’s okay to have my actions of the day but feelings are what help people focus on their present thoughts and that’s what makes journal writing therapeutic. Secondly, I want to develop a desire to write in my journal where it is not just considered a rote task that must be done every night before bedtime.  That takes the whole meaning out of it when it’s just another thing that you “have to do.” Maybe I can even get myself to write in it at different times of the day when I am feeling different emotions such as sadness, anger, or happiness.

            Something else that I could engage in that would be helpful would be to develop a reading program. I have never been much of a reader unless it involves a topic that I am very interested in. I plan to take a look at those suggested readings in my book and try to learn more on different topics I am interested in. Power is knowledge. This can not only be helpful in my own life, but also in the lives of others when I continue my journey along the path to becoming a school counselor. 

Week 14

I can’t believe the end of the semester is here.  In addition to that, the end of the book.  This is the first time in a while that I have been assigned to read an entire textbook front to back.  At first, I was a little disappointed to know each page would have to be read...but now that I can look back on this text, I really appreciated it and feel that I gained a better understanding of myself and others because of it.  I felt like the authors presented the material in a way that was easy to connect to, and I appreciated the many opportunities for reflection.

As I read through this final chapter, one section really resonated with me.  Corey & Corey (2008) suggest seeking counseling in times of transition or challenge.  In the text, they note that many individuals hesitate to seek counseling because of the stigma or feeling of not being able to handle something on one’s own.  This past year I considered seeing a counselor.  I wanted to make sure I was getting over things from the past and be able to forgive in a healthy way.  It got to the point where I researched my options of where to go, but never followed through.  I think the main reason I never ended up making that first appointment, was because I felt like if I did, it meant that I couldn’t handle something on my own.  I felt like going to counseling would mean I was weak or unstable.  I realize this all sounds totally crazy, because I am entering this profession encouraging others to seek counseling.  This section in the text was a reminder of what I already know deep down.  I know that counseling doesn’t make someone weak or incapable of doing things.  In fact, I know the positives of it, which is why I chose this path in the first place.  However, when it is you on the other side, it doesn’t seem as clear cut or easy to make that move.

I was surprised they ended the text with the section on dreams.  Dreams intrigue me and I wish I could remember more of mine.  The one thing I am excited to try is Corey & Corey’s (2008) suggestion to repeat, “I will have a dream tonight, and I will remember it.”  Dreams have the ability to reveal current struggles or future strivings.  This chapter has sparked an interest and I plan to look into this topic further this summer.

   

Corey, G. , & Corey, M.S. (2008). I never knew I had a choice: Explorations in personal growth (9th ed.). Belmont, California: Thompson Brooks/Cole. ISBN: 9780495602293.

Final Blog

In Chapter 14, the Coreys (2010) invite us to review what we've learned this semester and think about where we go from here. For my final preparations, I've been reflecting on my aha moments from this course and think these tie nicely into the spirit of reflection the authors promote in the final chapter of their book. Although many of the issues in this course spoke to me, I was especially impacted by particular themes in the areas of relationships, loneliness and solitude, and stress and time management. After ending a significant long-term relationship in my life, I felt a lot of guilt and then pressure to pretend that everything was okay when I actually felt really terrible for a long time afterwards. Because of this, I really appreciated the Coreys' (2010) perspectives on dealing with the termination of a long-term relationship which encourage the expression of anger and allowing time to grieve. Instead of being hard on myself for taking longer than I expected to move on from this relationship, I can view my reaction as a healthy response which will hopefully make me stronger for my future relationships. As a result of this breakup, I am now living alone for the first time in my life and have experienced more solitude than I was ever accustomed to. Although this period of aloneness was triggered by a specific life event, I have not often found myself feeling alone, and instead, have appreciated this opportunity to focus on my goals, pursue my hobbies, and examine my life in order to develop a plan for moving forward. Stress is something that everyone must face, and it is important to develop effective coping mechanisms. Managing my time appropriately is definitely an area where I can improve, and I found some of the Coreys (2010) suggestions helpful, such as reflecting on short and long-term goals, creating schedules, and concentrating on doing one thing at a time to the best of my abilities. Above all, I think it is important to remember to be proud of myself for the things I've accomplished and perhaps not worry so much about the small things that I sometimes ignore in pursuit of larger goals. In managing stress, self-care is also critical as it is impossible to give to others if you are not addressing your own needs. When I start feeling as if giving to others is more of a burden than a gift, I can usually identify this as a time when I need to turn inwards a bit more and address my own self-care a little better. Corey,G.,& Corey, M.S. (2010). I never knew I had a choice: Explorations in personal growth. (9th ed.). Belmont, California: Brooks/Cole.

Blog #14 - :)

Blog #14 – 5/14/2013

The final chapter of the Corey and Corey book was encouraging and inspiring.  Throughout this journey, I have honestly tried to give careful consideration to the various points raised and my subsequent feelings concerning them.  I believe that “you can deliberately choose experiences that will help you become the person you want to be” (Corey and Corey, 408).  It is certainly my intention to attempt to be more mindful of my choices, thoughts, and feelings as I continue my life pathway.  In accordance with this, I plan to add several suggested readings to my summer reading list and hopefully promote some self-discovery and learning that will be beneficial to both my future counseling students and myself. 

I would especially like to focus upon the choice theory, which emphasizes self-evaluation as a first step toward change.  I believe that everyone can profit from becoming more aware of the myriad influences that affect us each and every day.  Hopefully, I will be able to successfully encourage my future clients to include some type of self-reflection into their routines, no matter how small it may be at first.  As Corey and Corey note, “growth has no small steps” (pg. 408).  Certainly, no one is ever perfect, and as Maslow would argue, everyone is constantly searching and striving for self-actualization.  There is always room for improvement and areas in our lives that can be advanced with some attention and work. 

The section concerning Counseling as a Path to Self-Understanding (Corey and Corey, pgs. 410-413) offers the excellent suggestion that individuals who may have experienced some struggles with various topics or choices that may have materialized during their self investigation consider seeking counseling.  There is a list of statements provided on page 411 that individuals can read through and determine if any of them fit with what they may be feeling.  I found the list to be comprehensive and definitely things to be given serious contemplation.  These are definitely helpful ideas to possibly offer to anyone who comes to a school counselor.  It is certainly possible that a student may require more counseling than you, as a guidance counselor, can provide.  It would be essential that such a situation be identified as quickly as possible so that the individual could be put in touch with other services and begin to address what is necessary.  I absolutely agree that seeking counseling is not a sign of weakness, but actually a sign of strength.

The final section is about utilizing the content of dreams to enhance self-understanding.  I have always been intrigued by the practice of dream analysis, and admittedly attempt to discern personal meanings within my own dreams.  I am definitely adding the suggested book by David Fontana, Teach Yourself to Dream, to my summer reading list and just ordered it from Amazon! J  I believe this will be a helpful and thought provoking resource both personally and in my general level psychology class at Elizabethtown High School.  Students tend to be very interested in dream theories and have many questions. 

Thank you very much for the opportunities afforded me throughout this course to meet some fantastic people, experience a variety of relevant and thought provoking activities, and engage in some self exploration and discovery.

Corey,G.,& Corey, M.S. (2010). I never knew I had a choice: Explorations in personal growth. (9th ed.). Belmont, California: Brooks/Cole.

Blog 14

          As I ventured into this class I really didn’t know what to expect, I didn’t know if I what kind of personal growth I could expect and what type of experience I would have. Overall, I must say that I had a very positive experience with this course. I came in afraid to share my personal thoughts and experiences and I am now leaving as a person who has learned to disclose information in groups. I have also learned the importance of solitude. I started out my school out here as a very lonely individual I hated being alone, and I hated the fact that I had no social group here in Lancaster. Now, that I have started to develop friends and connections, I can now appreciate time alone. I actually seek solitude, I value the peace that I get from being alone, and those moments to process my own thoughts. I also, have realized that I need to work on letting go and forgiving people. I really hold grudges and stew on things too long and this is not good for my health. I need to find a way to let things going and become more mindful. I think I should really start trying to incorporate mindfulness techniques into my life every day. I think this can help with my stress levels and help me to better manage my life and anxiety levels.

                In this week’s reading I was really intrigued by the portion about dreams (Corey & Corey, 2010), I think that dreams can really tell us a lot about our conscious life. I know that when I am really stressed about something my dreams are always restless and cause me to sometimes wake up feeling more tired than when I went to bed. Like for example, I am planning my wedding right now, taking three courses, and working 30 hours a week. My life is a little stressed at the moment, I have been having multiple dreams lately where I forget that it’s the day of my wedding, or my dress doesn’t fit. These dreams just kept popping up, then I got some things done for school and a couple of wedding checklist items done and my dream finally became a happy one. I had a good dream about my wedding, and I think that was the best sleep I have gotten in a while. I just think that in our society we are taught that our dreams have no connection to our conscious life. We are told from ma young age that are dreams are simply nothing but dreams. I would really like to start keeping a dream journal. I think this would be a great bit of reflection for me and it would probably really help me as well. I want to be able to start remembering my dreams and being able to apply some meaning to my life from my dreams. This may be something else I add to my life besides the mindfulness techniques.

Corey, G. & Corey, M. S. (2010). Pathways to Personal Growth. In Brooks/Cole (9^th edition), I Never Knew I Had a Choice (406-419). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole, Cengage Learning

Individually Speaking -the full circle

I have not delved into the meaning of my dreams for quite some time. Often it rings like a high school psych parlor trick. I never had a tolerance for the prescribed meaning of the symbols. However, the Gestalt based method described by Janette Rainwater suggests enacting or feeling the part of the various elements of our dreams. This process energizes my curiosity to tap into the lessons my dream psyche is experiencing. Rainwater suggests that the little details and missing parts are as important as the dream’s rising emotions and vivid elements (Rainwater p.4). Of course, all of our experiences and perceptions of the world are imbedded in our dreams. It makes such sense to fully examine these components. All the characters and props are our selves. This holistic approach to dream interpretation, unlike Freudian, acknowledges the freedoms of personal perception and individuality.

Conversely, I have been struck many times through this course by the universality of being.  Many of my thoughts, behaviors and limitations were echoed through the personal reflections shared by others here and in class. For years I have felt isolated by some of these thoughts, but I felt a deep sense of  connection to my cohorts this semester. Though we came from diverse backgrounds, our drives, fears and challenges were often similar. I have also come to witness the entirety of the author’s title for this text. The concept of choice is empowering. The authors point out that our growth hinges upon the acceptance of our responsibility to choose how to react to life (Corey and Corey, 2010). Our personal transcendence is based upon our acceptance in that we cause our own suffering.  This is a concept I have revisited many times, but its power never fails to affect me. 

I am pleased to have had the experience within this course and engaging in the book’s exercises. I have learned new and validated prior wisdom. I could think that this material would have been helpful 20 years ago, but I feel knowledge has come to me at the right pace. Perhaps I would have lived less authentically thinking that I “should” be following a certain prescription instead of following my instincts. Regardless, this course has granted me pause to reflect on my life and respect that I have been on the right path all along. 

Each semester, this program has given me personal inquiry tasks to complete. Through these exercises, I have found value in my strengths and limitations. My personal values, strengths and goals are better aligned. My early goals started out as reactions to the life around me. I conclude this course with goals that expand my efficacy in and on the world around me.  As I reflect back, I feel as though I have fulfilled another concentric perceptual loop toward actualization. The view is the same, yet my perspective is greater.

Corey, G., & Corey, M.S. (2010). I never knew I had a choice: Explorations in personal

             growth (9^th ed.). Belmont, California: Thompson Brooks/Cole. ISBN: 9780495602293.

Rainwater, J. (n.d.). dreamingp1. Progressive Politics. Retrieved May 13, 2013, from http://www.janrainwater.com/htdocs/dreamingp1.htm