I cannot believe that this is the last blog I’ll be posting with this group. This has definitely been one of the most refreshing classroom experiences I have ever had. The discussions with my small group and among the whole class have been challenging and provided a much needed place for me to share, listen, learn, and grow. It feels good to look back over the semester, reflect on my previous blogs, re-read my journal entries, review the class handouts and material, and recognize the growth that has taken place in my life.
One of the things that jumped out at me at the start of the semester was how unbalanced my life was in regards to work and family time. I am very blessed to have a job that I love, feel passionate about, and find purpose in. I realized back in Chapters 2 and 3, however, that the time and energy that I put into my work (and graduate school) overshadowed my family time. As my awareness has grown and I’ve been able to be more honest with myself throughout the course, I’ve recognized that part of that ‘distance’ that I’ve created with my family has been on purpose. Most people would say I’m close to my family, and I would generally agree. I realized through this course, though, that I have used my job and school to keep a buffer between many of my family members and me. My work and schooling are areas where my family and I share the same values, so it has become safe for me to talk about those things with them and prevent conflict. Other areas of my life, including some relationship choices, service/volunteering opportunities I have invested in, and personal faith values, are not highly supported by family members. In fact, since exploring the world and creating my own set of values, separate from my parents’, it has been very hard for me to be completely open and honest with many family members without feeling judged and devalued. The readings and discussions in this course have allowed me to be honest about these feelings and push past my fears of rejection and avoidance of conflict to actually address some of my feelings, desires, and expectations with family members, particularly my parents.
Overall, I have become more aware of who I am, more accepting of who I am, and more confident in freely being that person at work, in school, with family, and by myself. It is scary, but energizing, to experience and begin to live out such a freedom!
I believe my growth through this class has made me a better teacher and allowed me to take strides toward becoming a good counselor. My awareness of self and willingness to take risks has made me more aware and attuned to others. I hope to continue growing in my ability to be fully present at every moment in my personal life, current professional life, and future career as a school counselor.
Corey, G.,& Corey, M.S. (2010). I never knew I had a choice: Explorations in personal growth. (9th ed.). Belmont, California: Brooks/Cole.
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