Meaning and Values

In thinking about developing a philosophy of life, I really liked Ruiz’s discussion of the four agreements, which include the following: “1) Be impeccable with your word, 2) Don’t take anything personally, 3) Don’t make assumptions, and 4) Always do your best” (Corey, G., and Corey, M.S., 2010, p. 381). In the past, I have really struggled with the second tenet and have viewed others’ words or actions as a reflection of something I may have done rather than something that may be going on in their own lives. Although I have improved in this area, I still have to remind myself of this from time to time, and so, I appreciated hearing that others struggle with this same issue. I think that I try my best to adhere to the other three tenets in my personal life, and again, think these are good principles to return to in order to remain grounded if I ever feel as if I may be straying from my values in certain situations. Relevant to translating values into practice is choice theory, founded by Charles Glasser, which teaches people to satisfy the basic needs of survival, love, power or achievement, freedom or independence, and fun. Glasser believes many people are unhappy because they are not taking active roles in their lives. Although you do not perhaps have control over your thoughts and feelings, you can change your actions, and it may help to examine your life in the context of the following four questions to address whether you are living your life in a meaningful way (Corey, G., and Corey, M.S., 2010, p. 23): 1) If you could be all that you want to be, what kind of person would you be? 2) How would you be different if you were living as you want to? 3) What are you most missing from your life? 4) What stops you from making the changes you would like to make? When I was preparing for the final, I found myself searching for relevant information to help the 17-year old in the case study find value in her life and instead found that I was also stopped in my tracks by examining my responses to these four questions. Although I am generally satisfied and perhaps a little too comfortable in my current life, I think that I could also make some improvements and need to take responsibility for taking some small steps towards realizing these changes. Corey, G., and Corey, M.S. (2010). I never knew I had a choice: Explorations in personal growth (9th ed.). Belmont, California: Thompson Brooks/Cole.