The journey to adulthood is a complicated but beautiful one. I regularly think back to my days as a little girl. I wanted to be an adult so badly. I would clean the house for my mother, cook (or attempt to anyway) for my father, and give advice to everyone who came to our door. I played preacher, teacher, mother, big sister, everything "adult" you can think of! (Advice from a five-year-old-I can only imagine!!) I also wanted to be independent so badly. Even today, I am sometimes reluctant to get help from others because I want to be able to solve problems on my own. Research by Corey and Corey (2008) supports that "as we become young adults, our central task is to assume increased responsibility and independence." I think responsibility and independence are central in developing a sense of self and strong self-esteem. I think the desire for independence still runs deep during the later years of life as well.
The focus on developing independence led me to consider how this desire evolves with age. I was very glad that this chapter discussed ageism and how it influences our society. I have seen the negative consequences of ageism many times in recent years. I don't like the way our older Americans are treated through the media, etc. For example, a recent Super Bowl commercial featured elderly Americans in a derogatory manner. Some may think it's in good fun, but anytime a group of people is marginalized or teased because of something they cannot control (age, race, gender) we enter into a dangerous realm. We should celebrate our differences and learn from them. Many other countries treat their aging population with the greatest respect. For example, my students from Nepal see their elders (and teachers) as supreme role models. They treat ALL of their elders with a deep respect. During this reading, I couldn't help but think about my dear friend John Mistretta. He passed away on January 28 of this year at the age of 95. I met John at the local gym. He would work out 3-4 times per week. He loved his independence and told me that his independence is what kept him alive and functioning after the death of his beloved wife. He would show me pictures of his one true love, his wife Katie, who he was married to for over 60 years. He told me he had to "push away thoughts of her little bones in the Earth and think of how she once was." He did not give up on life after she passed away. He chose to "glorify" her existence by living his life to the fullest and sharing her story with everyone he knew. I can still see his face when I close my eyes and imagine that he is now happy with his beautiful wife of 60 years.
As future school counselors, we should work to teach our children to respect our aging populations. We should encourage our young to think about what we can learn from our aging population. Counselors can also take the driver's seat in piloting community partnership programs to give children the chance to work with our senior citizens. This helps our students to feel independent and this may help remind our senior citizens of their own independence. This can also prove rewarding for both student and our aging population. Building connections between the generations is essential for deep and lifelong learning!
Corey, G.,& Corey, M.S. (2008). I never knew I had a choice. Explorations in personal growth. (9th ed.). Belmont, California: Thompson Brooks/Cole.
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