Stress is an inevitable part of life. I think learning to deal with it and learn from it is the key to a healthy life. I was glad our text devoted an entire chapter to this important topic. One thing I always keep in my heart about stress is how I feel when I am not stressed. Looking forward to that feeling helps me get through the stressful times. Points of contrast can be our greatest teachers!
Our text outlined different types of stress. Although physical stress can be quite taxing, it does not seem to last as long or have the same impact as psychological stress. I always said I would rather have a broken leg than a broken heart. One can be forgotten with pain medication and time, the other involves a long push/pull process of forgetting that creates deep tracks in the heart that never fade. Corey and Corey (2010) assert that stress can be viewed as frustration which results from something blocking attainment of your psychological needs and goals. I see frustration as the root of so many problems around me. We all are born to live our lives seeking happiness, joy and fulfillment. When these intangibles are very difficult to attain, that magic for living can be quickly extinguished. As complex and abstract as it seems, finding these things is often a product of the actual journey to find them! I can attest to this in my own life. At 23, I thought I had my path pretty much completed for my life. I would go to graduate school for psychology, then look for a doctoral program and hope to be successful like my own father. Little did I know I would never end up pursuing that path because of things that popped up along the sides of the path. I ended up working with children in the School District of Lancaster and liked it so much I never left! I had to "rewrite" my own definition of success for myself! For the longest time I felt pangs of guilt and frustration for not continuing my studies further, but I found a new way to feel proud of who I am and help others at the same time. Through the stress of creating a path for myself, I ended up finding happiness and satisfaction that I did not expect.
Learning to deal with frustration can inevitably lead to change. Change is one of life's constants, something we can always count on like the rising and setting of the sun. Change can lead to more stress or help to ease our stress. Again, it all depends on how we choose to deal with it. Corey and Corey (2010) highlight this premise by considering that the demands for adjustment to life change, along with YOUR perceptions of those demands, are more important than the type of changes alone. In other words, our own processing of change is one of the most important factors in determining how we survive the change. I find that when I can see the positive angle on a change, I am much more likely to deal with it well. (This is often easier said then done.)
Finally, the concept of pressure was introduced as a means for us to see how it impacts our lives and influences the expectations we set for ourselves and others. Corey (2010) indicates that the hurry sickness of our culture has robbed of us of the satisfaction that comes from making wise decisions and learning to grow from them. I must admit I am guilty of "hurrying" too much to in a culture that has never learned to befriend the clock! (I was reminded of that Alabama song I am in a Hurry to Get Things Done!) Ultimately, I think learning to view time as a friend instead of an enemy and enjoying the journey can help us all deal with stress, change and the pressures of everyday living.
Corey, G., & Corey, M.S. (2010). I never knew I had a choice:Explorations in personal growth. (9th ed.) Belmont, California: Thompson Brooks/Cole.
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