This past week I was my group’s leader. Initially this was a
nerve racking task. I had a lot of stress and apprehension going into the
evening wondering what if I couldn’t keep the conversation flowing or what if I
said the wrong thing, etc. Thankfully once the evening got going I quickly
realized that there wasn’t anything to worry about. I have a great group and we
all talk and share and I felt (this week more than previously) we were able to
joke around a lot about what we were discussing. The joking atmosphere made me
loosen up right away and I felt like I have in previous weeks when the
spotlight isn’t directly on me. I felt we had a great time laughing as we
discussed emerging adulthood and what we felt were the appropriate limits for
it and how we viewed ourselves in terms of adulthood, etc.
This week’s
reading was very enlightening for me because I recognized a connection between
how I feel and treat myself and what’s going on within my life but I never
really gave it thought or fully acknowledged that that was the case. However,
the past 4-5 years I was feeling pretty down about myself and stopped working
out and just treated myself badly. I haven’t eaten right, I’ve gained a ton of
weight, etc. But when I sit and think about it the past 4-5 years I went
through a pretty bad relationship and haven’t felt fulfilled at my job. So when
I was reading this chapter it was like no wonder I’ve done all of these things
to myself. I was unhappy in my surroundings to I made myself suffer physically
to go along with my emotional sufferings. Then when I look back, I recognize
that when I ended my bad relationship I also started trying to fit working out
back into my life. I will say with being a single mom of a 3 year old, teaching
full time, and coming to classes it hasn’t been easy to fit in, but at least I’m
on the road to happiness which means physical and emotional health.
I am not
quite sure how I feel about this week’s online article. This is not my first
time hearing about mindfulness, we actually had a mini-lesson about it at one
of my inservice trainings. I like the idea of mindfulness in some ways, but in
others I’m not entirely certain I subscribe to it. I feel it’s of great value
if you can identify and label your feelings for what they are. I do that with
my own feelings and I try to figure out where they are coming from, etc.
However, at the same time I’m not sure that I ever stop (or could stop) my
inner dialogue. I’m a very open person (it takes a lot to change my opinion of
people), however, I’m always thinking and evaluating situations. A lot of times
I see things very clearly that others cannot. I really enjoy connecting the
dots for people or situations. This same intuitiveness gives me a love for
watching TV shows like “Lie to Me” and figuring out who did what or who’s lying
before any real information is given (it is also why people hate watching those
shows with me)! So while I like some aspects of it…I just don’t think I could
ever clear my mind to the caliber necessary or how it was described in the
reading.
References:
Corey, G. & Corey, M. S. (2010). Your Body and Wellness.
In Brooks/Cole (9th edition),
I Never Knew I Had a Choice (106-131). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole, Cengage
Learning.
Luan Khong, B.S. (2007). The Buddha's
influence in the therapy room. Hakomi Forum, 18, 11-18.
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