Blog 6

It was great to read an article that has the ability to have us consider whether or not compassion is an inborn trait (Keltner, 2004).  The brain is a greatly malleable entity within the living system. I know that many of have learned in classes here in the school counseling program that we are able to effectively change how we perceive issues that may seem stressful, agitating, or depressing.  I know that for the longest part of my life, I was a very sheltered individual.  I never really understood why friends were important, and expressing emotions holds great power.  After the readings for this week, I totally understood where my reactions to love and compassion stemmed from...growing up as a child.  I lived in a family that did not freely express love.  Crying was seen as an embarrassing act, and I was pushed to internalize my emotions.  

The textbook chapter for this week held a lot of meaning to me as I am finally at a point in my life where I am able to feel and express love.  Two statements in the text that directly related to my own personal life were, "I want to feel loved and accepted for who I am now, not for living up to others' expectations of me," and "I am beginning to realized that I need to love and appreciate myself for who I am, then maybe I can accept love from others" (Corey & Corey, 2008).  I had always wanted to live up to the expectations set forth by my parents, in particular, my mother.  I was to pay my own way through college and graduate school even though my mother had instructed me that I must attain a high paying job and help to provide for both her and my father. 

In my past relationships, I definitely experienced some of the "myths and misconceptions of love" (Corey & Corey, 2008).  I have had a partner in the past that were extremely jealous when I would have friendships that she thought were more than friendships. Another partner did not understand that love involves a reciprocity of giving and receiving (Corey & Corey, 2008).

I am fortunate to say that I have finally found someone where our relationship is defined by authentic love (Corey & Corey, 2008).  Both my fiancé and I understand that we have similarities and differences, and that differences help us to gain more in depth knowledge of one another.  She is one of the few individuals that I feel completely comfortable expressing my thoughts to and expressing emotions.  She has witnessed me go through one of the toughest struggles in my life, and willingly stayed by my side as I fought through these issues. 

Corey, G., & Corey, M.S. (2008). I never knew I had a choice: Explorations in personal growth (9^th ed.). Belmont, California: Thompson Brooks/Cole.

Keltner, D. (2004, Spring). The compassionate instinct. Greater Good, 6-9.