Post 7

            As I mentioned in a previous blog post, I have struggled with love and relationships. This struggle was due to the fact that I did not know myself, and I lacked confidence in myself.  Along with this, I did not know my wants and needs as an individual. I was constantly seeking the approval of others in my life because that is what I perceived love as being. Up until college, I was searching for something that I could not find.

Today, I can proudly say that I am in a great meaningful relationship with a person I love. Reading over the qualities of meaningful relationships noted by Corey and Corey on pages 197 – 200, I can honestly say that the relationship I am in has many of these facets. Over the years, our relationship has developed through open communication and respect for one another. Our relationship is long distance. To say that we never have conflicts would be a lie. I feel that both of us are strong individuals who have established our own identity. We are confident in ourselves, which makes us even more confident in our relationship. We recognize when one of us is struggling or upset. We recognize that it is ok to be frustrated. We recognize that the only way to have a meaningful relationship is by being honest about these conflicts. The more we share our feelings with one another, the stronger our relationship has become.

            This chapter had an impact on me not only for the meaningful relationship that I have, but also for the poor relationships that I have in my life. One of these relationships has to do with my older brother who I love dearly. He is 9 years older than me, and I see him more as a father than anything else. Over the years, I feel that our relationship has really taken a turn for the worse. To be honest, I try my best to meet up with him whenever I can. I make sure I call him in advance to let him know when I am in Altoona. I let him know that he can contact me whenever he wants. I feel that he doesn’t understand my situation. I live in York, while the rest of my family and girlfriend live in Altoona. I still have a relationship with our mother, while he has not talked to her in 6 years. I am a teacher, and I take graduate courses, while he did not go to college.

            I have continuously been feeling conflict and anger towards him, but I never seem to do anything about it. I feel that I have made many excuses in order to avoid confronting him about this problem. I do not live in Altoona anymore. He is married, has a child, and is expecting another. I only see him on holidays. He has started a new job. I am scared to tell him how I feel. He may think I am pathetic. All of these thoughts have run through my head at one time or another. The bottom line is that I need to tell him how I am struggling with him (Corey and Corey, 2010). I feel that reading this chapter could not have come at a better time. We will be seeing each other this weekend, and I am looking forward to talking to him about my conflict with him.

Corey, G. & Corey, M. S. (2010). Your Body and Wellness. In Brooks/Cole (9^th edition), I Never Knew I Had a Choice (106-131). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole, Cengage Learning.

Schmookler, T. & Bursik, K. (2007). The value of monogamy in emerging adulthood: A gendered perspective. Journal of social and personal relationships, 24(6), pgs. 819-834.