Post 6

            I have always had a difficult time defining love. The difficulty is from the multiple facets of love. There are many kinds of loving relationships: love between parents and children, siblings, friends, and romantic relationships (Corey and Corey, 2012). Today, I am grateful to have all of these loving relationships around me. There was a time in my life that it was not so easy for me to admit that I loved another.

I have continued to put up a shield when it comes to loving relationships. It took me awhile to accept that I loved someone or someone loved me. Growing up, I did not have loving relationships around me to serve as a model of what it looks like, sounds like, or feels like. From what I saw, love was leaving and crying. From what I heard, love was yelling and lying. From what I felt, love was hurting. This sounds pretty depressing, but it taught me how NOT to love. I defined love as being the opposite of what I was given and shown. At the same time, it built a strong defense against accepting love and giving love. After all, if that is what love is supposed to be, why would I want it?

I can remember telling myself back in junior high school that love is such a strong word. This was pretty mature of me to say at that age, considering the many emotions that are occurring during the adolescent years. Saying “I love you” shouldn’t be blurted out when you are not truly feeling love for another. I felt that many of my friends at the time were in “loving” relationships because that is what I would hear when they were with their girlfriends and what I would read in notes to and from them. I was keen on not saying “I love you”. Instead of saying this forbidden phrase to another person (usually girlfriends haha), I would say, “I like you…a lot”. Haha, reading what I just typed sounds pretty weird, but once again, I believed (and still do believe) that LOVE is such a powerful word.

Reading through the many aspects of authentic love on pages 176 – 178, an individual can gain understanding and an appreciation of how powerful love is and can be (Corey and Corey, 2012). As I grew older, I began to see many of these aspects in my own life. From coaches, teachers, friends, girlfriends, and colleagues, I have built a better definition of love. These relationships became my models, and with these models, I felt more capable of putting my shield down.

Today, I share my love often, especially with my students. I enjoyed reading the Keltner article because I see compassion every day in my classroom. Whether it be from me to my students, my students to me, or students to students, it is truly remarkable how positive a classroom environment can be if there is a focus on love and compassion towards others.

Corey, G. & Corey, M. S. (2010). Your Body and Wellness. In Brooks/Cole (9^th edition), I Never Knew I Had a Choice (106-131). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole, Cengage Learning.

Keltner, D. (2004). The compassionate instinct. Greater Good, 6-9.