Ahh… Gender roles. As a sociology major in college, I
spent a decent amount of time thinking and talking about what society is
telling us about what it means to be masculine or feminine. Growing up, I do not remember my
parents ever influencing or encouraging me to be more feminine. Actually, my brother was more feminine
than most boys and I was somewhat of a tomboy. I was the adventurous and brave sibling who would travel the
woods and climb trees. My brother
would tag along, but occasionally he would follow me up in a tree and be too
scared to come down. I still
played with dolls, but so did my brother.
We would play together. My
parents never discouraged my brother from playing with “girly” toys and they
never asked me to stop climbing trees.
Even transitioning into adulthood, my parents encouraged me to get a
good education and wait to start a family until I was ready. If anything, my parents encouraged the
development of my more masculine traits.
It
was not until recently that I have begun to notice how “ungirly” I am. Corey and Corey (2008) did not mention
that one of the female roles in America is to spend time trying to look like
the ideal woman, but I think it is one of the ways women feel a great deal of
pressure. Most of my girl friends
in Pennsylvania go tanning, get their nails done, dye their hair and know the
perfect techniques for wearing make-up.
I definitely do not spend as much time on my looks as my friends. I related to Lin in Corey and Corey
(2008) in that I sometimes feel self-conscious for not being as feminine and,
at other times, I feel empowered for being unique. For example, if I go to bachelorette party, I always feel
the need to get someone else to do my makeup so that I can better fit in.
I
had never heard before that androgyny is one way to transcend gender roles and
I was actually quite offended by it.
While I do not think women need to adhere to feminine roles and men need
to conform to masculine roles, I think putting pressure on people to be
androgynous is equally as unhealthy and quite boring. Glorifying androgyny is taking value away from the diversity
in the feminine/masculine spectrum.
I wish society would evolve to give people the freedom to live out their
gender in the way that makes them the happiest.
Susanne
had read the Kim and McKenry (2002) article before class last week so
we briefly discussed it and how it relates to gay marriage during our
break. From a research standpoint,
we are not allowing gay couples to be as happy and healthy as they could be by
not giving them the option of marriage.
Maybe this research should be part of the debate going on in Washington
DC right now.
Corey, G., & Corey, M.S. (2008). I
never knew I had a choice: Explorations in personal
growth (9th
ed.). Belmont, California: Thompson Brooks/Cole. ISBN: 9780495602293.
Kim, H.K., & McKenry, P.C. (2002). The relationship
between marriage and
psychological well-being. Journal of Family Issues, 23(8), 885-911.
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