Stay at home mom vs working mother

            I was very disappointed at the realization that this past week was our groups last group session. We’ve created a great bond between us that goes beyond the classroom and into our personal lives. I’m now looking forward to everyone’s individual projects. It will be neat getting a glimpse of what has helped everyone grow and overcome boundaries within their lives.

            As for our online article, I’ve heard many times that marriage helps your psychological wellbeing. So it was nice getting to read a study about it for a change and seeing what it really says in full. I wasn’t surprised that cohabiting doesn’t have the same beneficial effects that marriage does because I’ve cohabited several times before and I’ve never felt as secure as I’d imagine I’d feel if I were actually married to someone. Perhaps that’s because I’ve then broken up with the other person and left the cohabiting situation that I feel that they aren’t good predictors of security or maybe everyone naturally feels that cohabiting isn’t a reason to feel especially secure.

            As for our chapter in the book, I found it especially interesting because before I had my son I was adamant that I’d never want to be a stay at home mom. However, now that he’s here, I wish that there were a way I could be/have been a stay at home mom. It’s amazing how much your perspective can change from the addition/creation of a child. So while I understood where the text was coming from in terms of some ladies wanting to pursue a career to feel fulfilled, etc. I actually feel quite the opposite. I feel very unfulfilled at work now because I feel like I should be at home enriching my own son’s life and teaching him things. Many of you have heard me talk about my son or seen pictures of him, but in addition to being super handsome, he’s also very smart. Some of you have had the pleasure of seeing the video of him “reading” his brown bear brown bear what do you see? book in our child in the family class. I’ve spent countless hours teaching him all his letters, numbers, colors, shapes, etc. and it’s hard to feel good leaving him with a babysitter that is impressed by how much more your child knows than their own (who was older than my son) and asking how I taught him so much at such a young age…needless to say I didn’t hire that babysitter. Don’t get me wrong I know my son is naturally advanced and there will always be individual differences among people/children, but most children crave learning new things (hence all the questions) so it really shouldn’t be that hard to get them to learn the basics. At any rate, seeing how much other people seem to lack in their ability to take care of their own children, let alone mine, makes it very difficult for me to go to work every day and feel good about myself. However, before I had my son if you’d have tried to tell me that I’d have to be a stay at home mom because it’s what society says I have to do I’d have fought you tooth and nail. But now if I won the lottery (us single mom’s can’t exactly afford to stay home otherwise) I’d be the happiest stay at home mom ever!

References:

Corey, G. & Corey, M. S. (2010). Becoming the Woman or Man You Want to Be. In Brooks/Cole (9^th edition), I Never Knew I Had a Choice (226-255). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole, Cengage Learning.

Kim, H.K., & McKenry, P.C. (2002). The relationship between marriage and psychological well-being. Journal of Family Issues, 23(8), 885-911.