Blog 7

One of my favorite parts about working in my group in class is that I can make references to Pinterest and not hear groans from the peanut gallery. One article I came across this week in my searches coincides perfectly with a concept from our textbook. While outlining important qualities to have in a relationship, Corey and Corey (2010) begin by positing that people involved in a relationship are still individual people with unique identities (pg. 197). My connection was to an blog post written by a female in a two year relationship who remembers the gradual move she and her partner made from becoming a “me” to a “we.” At first, friends will ask, “Do you want to go out tonight?” but as a person becomes more involved in their romantic relationship the friend’s question becomes “What are you and _____ doing tonight? Do you guys want to go out?” While, especially at the beginning stages of a relationship (which I am happily in right now) this idea of “we” gives a great feeling, soon one can lose sight of themselves and become lost in that word.

I am happy to say that, while our article for this week hits home with Julia circa 2012, it is no longer super salient to my life! Which is a huge relief, and it is therapeutic for me to type that here. I used to have a tendency to be jealous in my romantic relationships. As many of you know, it is something that has trailed slightly into this semester. However, especially after reading last week’s chapter, I am able to say that I, Julia Dunn, no longer fear emotional infidelity in a relationship. For those of you who are not in my group, I will explain. Schmookler and Bursik (2007) base their research off of the premise that men are more wary of physical cheating, while women are concerned with men making extramarital emotional relationships (pg. 821). Had I read this article a few weeks ago, I may have freaked out that there was experimental evidence to back up my irrational jealous thoughts, but from last week’s chapter I came to terms (and am actually excited about) the prospect that, in a healthy, loving relationship, I choose to encourage my boyfriend to have loving relationships (with friends) outside of our romantic relationship. What a relief this has been for me!

Corey, G. & Corey, M. S. (2010). Managing Stress. In Brooks/Cole (9th edition), I Never Knew I Had a Choice (132-169). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole, Cengage Learning.

Schmookler, T. & Bursik, K. (2007). The value of monogamy in emerging adulthood: A gendered perspective. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.