Holly Miller #8

          Maybe I was just lucky. After reading this chapter, I couldn't help but feel so proud of my parents. My siblings and I were never pegged into roles. Both of our parents always allowed us to follow our interests. For example, all three of us girls played with "boy" toys at a young age. We were never told not to. Male and female socialization begins at these tender ages with toy choices. We learn to internalize roles before we are old enough to process what they mean. Thank goodness I had parents who nurtured the individual, not the gender. I remember my parents celebrating us for who we truly were. For example, one of my sisters insisted on having her own language. She wrote an entire dictionary of words that only she understood. I remember her word for hands was "May-May." Instead of scolding her and insisting she use the correct words, my parents went along with it for a few months. (Of course it didn't go well at school, but even the teacher kind of thought it was unique!) She eventually gave it up, but I feel that it helped her form her own identity. She is a very creative and artistic person. My parents nurtured her creativity and helped her express herself.
          I think all three of us grew up with a presence of what Corey and Corey (2010) refers to as gender-role transcendence, or the ability to go beyond the prescribed categories of male and female to achieve a fulfilling identity. I have always believed that all humans possess traits of both male and female and these should be nurtured. For example, I love splitting wood, building a fire, and fixing things around the house. I was encouraged to do these things. But I also love make-up and jewelry, especially eye-shadow. I have a collection to die for. Over 50 fabulous shades. I love being loving and taking care of things. I am also that crazy neighborhood lady that takes in stray cats. And I am most proud of being a person that family and friends turn to in a time of need. Not quite sure where all of that falls in terms of gender socialization. But that's Holly. I am a mixture of many things, and this makes me happy. What a great sadness for a human being to feel they have to prescribe to one style of living or fulfill one gender role. Humans are complex creatures, and I feel that gender roles do little to capture the true essence of what it means to be human.
          Finally, as future counselors,  I think we need to do our best to encourage the individual identities of our students. This can be tricky because many of the children we may work with could come from homes that reinforce gender stereotypes, and some of this could be cultural. That's why it is so important to get to know your students. Just being a positive place for them to turn to is sometimes enough to get them thinking about their future and who they want to become.