Love Actually

I really appreciated the discussion of love in the text this week because I think it presents a realistic view of a concept that gets romanticized way too often in the media. Don’t get me wrong, I’m an avid watcher of romantic comedies and have read way too many romance novels, but I also think that real, true love isn’t the perfect love displayed in these mediums, but rather, the kind that accepts your partner for who he or she is, “not just the beautiful side but also the limitations, inconsistencies, and flaws” (Corey, G. and Corey, M., 2008, p. 176). Love also means being vulnerable, allowing “you to matter to me in spite of my fear of losing you. You have the capacity to hurt me as much as I am capable of hurting you” (p. 177). Again, I think this last statement is a really honest reflection because it points to the fact that you have to be willing to take a chance and lose a lot in the pursuit of something that could also potentially expand your life in a really meaningful way. Regarding my personal experiences with love-they’ve been somewhat messy-but perhaps they’re supposed to be as I elaborated upon above. I’ve had relationships on opposite ends of the spectrum. For instance, I had a stable, long-term relationship that I was really comfortable in and had a lot of fun with, but never felt particularly vulnerable or challenged. It ended, not because we didn’t have affection or respect for each other, but because we both (okay maybe me more than him) felt that there was probably something more out there. I also had a brief experience with the “feel sick to my stomach, can’t think of anything else” kind of love (or maybe it was actually fabricated madness), but that didn’t end very well for me either (and this time I was the one who was rejected, so that was particularly painful, maybe more for my pride than my actual emotions, haha). I’ve also had some encounters in between these two extremes, but I don’t think I’ve ever really experienced the kind of authentic, unconditional love from a romantic partner that I experience on a regular basis from my parents and other really close friends and family members in my life. Perhaps expecting this is actually romanticizing love too much as I just said I was trying not to do above! But I’ve had enough experiences to know that I do not want to settle either. I guess I will have to accept that when it comes to love, “the reality is that there are no guarantees” (p. 190). Corey, G. & Corey, M. S. (2008). I Never Knew I Had a Choice. Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole (9th Edition), Cengage Learning.