Relationships

I found both reading assignments for this week to be very interesting.  I was unsure about the Corey and Corey (2010) chapter at first because I am not married and not currently in a serious relationship with anyone so I was really wondering if I was going to instantly get a lot from the text.  As I read, I realized that these topics discussed can really be applied to any relationship you have.  While I may not be in a serious relationship, I am lucky that I have many friendships.  At this stage of my life, these are friends that I really would like to keep too, so I kept an open mind while reading the chapter.  Believe it or not, I found a few tips that made a lasting impression on me.

The first topic that caught my attention was when Corey and Corey (2010) explained their personal view on meaningful relationships (pg. 197).  In their list there were three main things that I thought were very interesting.  The first tip was in a relationship each person needs to have a separate identity.  From experience, I believe that this is extremely important because you cannot completely depend on the person you are in a relationship with to do everything for you.  I believe that it is healthy that each person maintains a balance between separateness and togetherness.  The second tip was that each person is able to receive honest and respectful feedback.  I believe that it is important to express your feelings with those who you are in a relationship with.  When I am in a relationship with someone, I find myself usually being the one who is willing to share their thoughts and feelings with the other.  Sometimes this can be frustrating to me if the other is not that open, so this is why I tend to gravitate towards individuals who are more outgoing.  The last tip that made an impact on me was that both individuals in a relationship need to be able to deal with conflict in their relationship.  Things are not always going to be sunshine and rainbows, so it’s important to know that you are not going to be with someone who is quick to throw in the towel.  I always look for someone who is willing to work through adverse times because I see myself as an individual that has a high level of perseverance. 

Also, in Corey and Corey (2010) I also thought the piece on coping with ending a long-term relationship was rather interesting (pg. 220).  This is something that I had to deal with as of recent.  It was also nice to see that some of the coping strategies that they suggested, I also have done as well.  For instance, I feel that allowing yourself to grieve and giving yourself sometime is extremely important.  After ending a relationship, you don’t want to jump into anything else too quickly without thinking it through because you are more likely to make a decision that you will not end up liking in the long run.  You also need to find a support system that will be there for you to talk to.  Like I mentioned before, I am extremely lucky to have a support system full of people that are willing to talk and get together if something happens.  They have always been there for me, and I will always be there for them.  I believe that this is something that makes relationships successful. 

The Schmookler and Bursik (2007) article was also extremely interesting to me.  I liked to read about the different views of men and women regarding monogamy.  The one I typically liked was the idea that men approve of themselves engaging in sexual infidelity because they are able to inseminate multiple partners in short periods.  However, women invest in the survival of their offspring so therefore they are more likely to engage in emotional infidelity.  I think the reason that this was interesting to me was because it was basically referencing biological factors.  Maybe this might be a topic I use in class one day.  It will definitely grab the students attention, I can bet you that!

Corey, G. & Corey, M. S. (2010). Managing Stress. In Brooks/Cole (9th edition), I Never Knew I Had a Choice (132-169). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole, Cengage Learning.

Schmookler, T. & Bursik, K. (2007). The value of monogamy in emerging adulthood: A gendered perspective. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.