Individually Speaking 6

It is funny that human nature grants us such great confidence in our abilities and understanding at young ages. Yet, as we learn and grow, there is always so much more! These days, I accept that I often don’t know enough to know what I don’t know. Self efficacy is understood as one’s perceptions of their abilities, growth, and the ability to persevere through difficult circumstances (Greason and Cashwell, 2009). Doesn’t it make sense then, that mindfulness would enhance one’s self efficacy in all relationships, love and career? 

Love is a concept that changes as we grow, mature, and experience life. When we are young our love is unconditional but based on our needs being met. We give this love freely in trust and innocence. As we grow and begin to know ourselves, love begins to deepen. As young adults, love is still dependent on our perception of our needs, but there is also a drive to fulfill the needs of others. This love is often naïve, but very spirited. As adults, love develops a new capacity as the challenges of life test the quality of our love.  Children, careers, banality, and illness are just a few of the stressors that test love. Love deepens when we embrace the limitations of people and life. When we are mindful of our role in our love relationships, we can weather these challenges with greater awareness and a healthy detachment. 

I am aware of how my personal script defines love. It is similar to my own mother’s choices as I was growing up (Corey, 2010). I often place the needs of others first. This is accepted as a societal norm for many American women. We wear our “busy-ness” as a badge of honor to document how loving we are. However, is our personal growth  dampened due to this outward focus or do we grow through our giving? Giving is often recommended to increase happiness and help decrease narcissistic, self indulgent tendencies.  The key may be in the balance of giving to self and others, at home and in career, which requires a sense of mindfulness and intention. 

The Greason and Cashwell (2009, p.3) article discusses the correlation between mindfulness and self efficacy in experienced counselors. From this, they assert that mindfulness training can promote greater self efficacy in counselors in training. I question how much career maturity also provided to the increase in mindfulness measures. Surely, experience would lend to self efficacy and growth regardless of formal mindfulness training. I am intrigued with the effects that an introduction to mindfulness might have on counselors in training. As they would already possess this skill upon entry to the field; what other skills can this unlock at an earlier phase?  It should be noted however that mindfulness requires time, experience and patience. Just when you claim some confidence you find there is much more to learn.

Corey,G.,& Corey, M.S. (2010). I never knew I had a choice: Explorations in personal growth. (9th ed.). Belmont, California: Thompson Brooks/Cole.

Greason, P.B. & Cashwell, C.S.  (2009). Mindfulness and counseling self-efficacy:  the mediating role of attention and empathy.  Counselor Education & Supervision. 49. 2-19.