Week 6 - Compassion and Love

There are a lot of things in this world that make life a joy to live. One of them is the way so many things from so many different life compartments seem to be saying the same thing at the same time. I love how interconnected our lives are even when we don't try to make connections and even when it doesn't appear that things are linked on the surface.

Compassion seems to be one of those themes that is crossing all kinds of barriers in my life right now. We are currently in the middle of a series at church entitled, “A Little Compassion Goes a Long Way.” My middle schoolers have been sharing each week the sacrifices they are making to collect quarters to send to children in Haiti. They are doing extra chores around the house, giving up birthday money or a new pair of shoes to give to others who have more of a need than themselves. They will likely never meet these children or know the effects of their gifts, yet they are sacrificing to serve them. Why? Because it feels good to give to others. It feels good to be needed. It gives us a sense of purpose to recognize that the world is bigger than just me! I have seen this type of response over and over from people who have very little or nothing, which leads me to agree with Keltner that helping others brings us the same amount of fulfillment as meeting our own needs. I also agree that a little bit of compassion leads to more compassion. It is contagious!

Love is much like compassion in that regard. I like how Corey and Corey describe the differences between authentic and inauthentic love. There are so many people in this world that I truly believe have never experienced authentic love. No earthly love is perfect, but a few things stood out from the reading. On page 176, Corey and Corey describe an authentic love relationship as one in which actions are the backbone of love, not mere words. They describe two beings who have a desire to give to the other in the relationship. These qualities, much like compassion, make authentic love contagious!

Giving people a sense of dignity and purpose is a critical component in counseling. If the only thing a patient has to live for is themselves, there would be very little reason to overcome the obstacles before them. For this reason, I think it is important to help clients recognize where compassion and love are being shown to them, and where they are showing compassion and love to others. If they are unable to give compassion and/or love, helping them recognize some opportunities to be compassionate or loving could build relationships in their life that lead to purpose and ultimately, a desire to work through the challenges they are facing. Compassion and love have the power to bring life and healing!

Corey, G. & Corey, M. S. (2010). Love. In Brooks/Cole (9^th edition), I Never Knew I Had a Choice (170-191). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole, Cengage Learning.

Keltner, D. (2004, Spring). The compassionate instinct. Greater Good, 6-9.