This
week I identified with everything in both the book and the article regarding
monogamy and relationships. First,
I am thrilled that the article did research not only on sex differences, but
gender differences as well. When
comparing men and women, I frequently find myself wondering about femininity
versus masculinity instead. Also,
while my boyfriend and I both value monogamy, he has definitely been the one to
express concern about committing to just one person forever. I, on the other hand, look forward to
being with one person eternally.
While
reading Corey and Corey (2008), I found myself reflecting on my parent’s
relationship, my own relationships and relationships in general. The section that discussed separation
and divorce really touched home when thinking about my own parent’s
divorce. Corey and Corey (2008)
discussed the consideration of change to improve the relationship and also seeking
counseling as steps to take before divorce. To the best of my knowledge, my parents did neither of
these. It appeared as if they just
stopped communicating and gave up.
My dad has now remarried and has implied on numerous occasions that he
is unhappy, but is basically too comfortable to change the situation. I cannot help but think that if he had
reflected more on what went wrong in his relationship with my mother, he would
not have found himself in this situation again. Nonetheless, I definitely look at my parents relationship
and my dads new relationship as models of what I do not want mine to look like.
I
found the list of communication problems useful in helping me to identify areas
that I need to improve upon in my own relationship. When I get upset, I tend to start crying almost immediately,
which makes it very difficult for my boyfriend and I to talk about what
happened that brought me to that point.
I tend to both overreact and make assumptions about my boyfriend, which
then leads him to put up a wall and our communication breaks down. We are slowly, but surely, getting
better at talking about problems.
I have been trying to prevent issues by talking about potential troubles
before they happen and calm down before confronting my boyfriend. He has been trying to practice more
open communication to help us talk through our issues.
I
am thrilled that Corey and Corey (2008) touched on the sensitive topic of
homosexual relationships. My
brother and both of my stepbrothers are gay and it is an issue very close to my
heart. There are many misconceived
perceptions of what these relationships are like, but at the deepest level,
homosexual relationships encounter problems just like heterosexual couples
do. Unfortunately, however, they
also must face potential judgment on top of typical relational challenges. As a school counselor, I want to be prepared
to help students exploring their sexual identity talk about their problems in a
safe, nonjudgmental space.
Corey, G., & Corey, M.S. (2008). I
never knew I had a choice: Explorations in personal
growth (9th
ed.). Belmont, California: Thompson Brooks/Cole. ISBN: 9780495602293.
Schmookler, T. & Bursik, K. (2007). The value of
monogamy in emerging adulthood: A
gendered
perspective. Journal of social and
personal relationships, 24(6), pgs. 819-834.
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