Week 7

It is definitely an odd experience to read a chapter that directly relates to my own personal situation. From the relationship that I have with my parents to  the relationship I now have with my fiancé (Aj), I could not help but make connections to ideas and issues brought up in the text.

The relationship that I have with Aj is unlike any that I have had before I met her. Reading over the qualities of a relationship that are important to the authors totally fall in line with what I have finally been able to find in a partner (Corey & Corey, 2008). Aj and I both understand that we have our own identities, and that we appreciate what the other brings to the relationship. She understands when I need time to myself to focus on work for school or my graduate assistantship. We show pride in the accomplishments of one another and always encourage each other to pursue interests and goals that are important to us even if it is an individual interest. Not constantly living a life that is incredibly entwined in becoming a combined entity.

I have to say that one of the patterns that was an ongoing struggle in my life was how I was able to deal with conflict during my childhood into my early 20s with my parents (Corey & Corey, 2008). Whenever a conflict arose with my parents, each of them would isolate themselves and not work towards resolving the conflict. As I look back on my own personal growth, this was something that I also tended to do. Instead of attempting to communicate with an individual during  a conflict, I would isolate myself and sweep the conflict under the rug.

As for the Schmookler and Bursik (2007) article, I found it to have a lot of valuable information, but I was challenged to see how this perspective could possibly be applied to my own personal life. I understand the specificity of using a demographic of heterosexual individuals, but the qualities applied to males and females seemed to be able to apply to any couple. Whether researching the value of monogamy in heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual individuals, do couples share a symbiosis of values that complement one another despite gender roles and sexual orientation? I would be interested to see further researching looking into couples investigating the four characteristics of attitudes towards monogamy (emotional, sexual, relationship-enhancing, and sacrifice) (Schmookler & Bursik, 2007).

Corey, G. & Corey, M. S. (2010). Managing Stress. In Brooks/Cole (9th edition), I Never Knew I Had a Choice. Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole, Cengage Learning.

Schmookler, T. & Bursik, K. (2007). The value of monogamy in emerging adulthood: A gendered perspective. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.