Week 8 - Gender

I wasn't sure what to expect from just reading the title of this chapter, but I think that I was anticipating a lot of overlap from previous readings and discussions. To my surprise, Chapter 8 has been one of the most thought provoking and challenging chapters for me so far. (It may even be my favorite!)

I am the youngest of two girls, so from an early age, my sister typically paired up with my mother and engaged in activities like shopping and sunbathing, while I buddied up with my father and spent a lot of time racing at the arcade or hanging out in the woods. (My favorite birthday gift of all time was probably the hunting gear I got for my 12th birthday!) My sister and I both enjoyed playing competitive sports, but unlike her, I would spend hours watching racing and baseball with my dad, and even going with him and my grandpa to 'father-son' events our church often held. I played on the boys' soccer team through my junior year of high school and though I had plenty of close female friends at all stages of my life, I typically opted to spend my weekends spotting for deer, calling turkeys, or exploring the woods with my male friends and my dog. It was more adventurous and a lot less dramatic than long days with the girls!

As I read through the stereotypical male traits, I found myself relating to many of them: independence, driven to succeed, devotion to work, competitiveness, feeling excessive pressure to succeed, and fear of failure. But then I read through the stereotypical female traits and I possess many of them too: warmth, nurturing, kindness, intuitive, vulnerable, emotional, and relational.

Corey and Corey say on page 242, "Women are beginning to take actions that grow out of their awareness." When I analyze the woman I am and look back over my 20's, I can see the truth of this statement in my career, friendships, and romantic relationships. I have always kind of felt a pull from society to be more or less of certain traits and have thought at different times that I am too masculine or not 'girly' enough. What I've learned (and continue to learn) is that people like and appreciate others (including me) much more when they are genuine and true to who they are instead of trying to be someone they are not. Plus, I'm just better at being me! It is amazing the freedom that self awareness can bring and the joy that comes with letting go of the temptations of society to be true to yourself!

Becoming who you want to be is a journey that all individuals embark on, including patients. As a counselor, I think it is important to help clients recognize their strengths, become aware of their character traits, and identify their interests, while showing them opportunities within our society. Then, simply supporting them as they confidently decide who they are and choose who they want to be.
Corey, G. & Corey, M. S. (2010). Managing Stress. In Brooks/Cole (9th edition), I Never Knew I Had a Choice (132-169). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole, Cengage Learning.