This week’s
classroom discussion allowed me to voice my goals, however, I’m not so certain
that I’ll attain them just because I put them out there. I think one of my
goals will be fairly easy to attain (making new friends) as I’ve already begun
making friends with my group members and people in my other graduate class as
well. Finding a new, less stressful job will be very difficult, especially
since I have to make sure I have health insurance for my son in addition to
making decent money. My third goal of losing weight and getting back into the
shape I was in before having my son is actually the most difficult. I know it’s
a cliché to say that I don’t have enough time to work out. However, in my case
I really do have minimal time left over between working full time, taking two
graduate courses and actually spending time with my son. Then I guilt myself on
top of my lack of time by thinking that I don’t have much time with him as it
is and then I’m going to take him to the childcare section at the gym and leave
him for an hour with people that don’t care about him….that makes it really
difficult for me to want to go to the gym at all. Those are just things that I
have to overcome/work around because I know even though presently it seems
negative when I’m back in shape and feeling better he’ll benefit from having a
happier, healthier mom.
As for this week’s
reading in our text, it had me written all over it. I deal with a lot of
stress. Self-induced stress because I want to be successful and live up to my
full potential which I’m not currently doing. Work-induced stress because I don’t
get along with my supervisor so she goes out of her way to make me miserable.
Life-induced stress because I want to be a good single mother and provide the
best for my son, etc. So stress management is key for me. As I discussed in
group last week I have an anger problem, which is really just a stress problem.
Because I live life currently at one millimeter below my stress breaking point
any unexpected hiccups cause me to want to blow up or freak out. (This is also
a learned behavior from watching my mom and bipolar brother). So I am very
conscious of what I do and why and I try very hard to stop myself from having
these adult temper tantrums. Unfortunately this is a constant internal battle
between the way I want to be and the way I’ve learned for 3 decades to behave. When
I have these very childish outbursts I always apologize to whomever may have
witnessed them and then try again to eliminate them from my behavior. One thing
that has really helped me in this quest is trying to reduce my stress in any
way possible. Fortunately I’ve only encountered this side of myself since I
became a single mom two years ago and my stress level went through the roof,
previously I was never this type of person. So I know that if I can maintain a
lower stress level these outbursts of anger/stress will disappear again but in
the meantime I am actively and consciously trying to eradicate this behavior.
I wasn’t
exceptionally thrilled with the online article this week. I enjoyed knowing
that mindfulness is important to my success as a counselor (at least according
to this study). However, I didn’t find the article interesting in the manner
that it conveyed this information.
References:
Corey, G. & Corey, M. S. (2010). Managing Stress. In
Brooks/Cole (9th edition), I
Never Knew I Had a Choice (132-169). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole, Cengage
Learning.
Greason,
P.B, & Cashwell, C.S. (2009). Mindfulness and Counseling Self Efficacy: The
Mediating Role of Attention and Empathy.
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