Blog #8 – 4/2/2013
I found Chapter 8 of particular interest for a few
reasons. Entitled “Becoming the Woman or
Man You Want to Be”, I originally believed that I would be reading various
self-help wisdom and be asked to give serious consideration to improving myself
in myriad ways. I must admit that I was
somewhat surprised to discover that it focused mainly upon identifying the
stereotypes for each gender in different cultures (mainly American) and ethnic
groups and fighting them in one’s own life.
I realized that of course there are different expectations for many
things in life in different cultures, but never really considered (I am ashamed
to admit) how these different views impact those individuals growing up within
each culture. I also found the chapter
very interesting as I applied the concepts and questions to both my childhood
and my own family of creation. Many
behaviors in my family of origin fell somewhat along “typical” middle-class Caucasian
gender lines. Mom was definitely in
charge of the children and the house, backed up by Dad when necessary. My father was the main breadwinner, but also
did a good job of showing affection and support. My mother also worked, albeit in the home, in
her own beauty shop. Mom did most of the
cooking, but Dad grilled, and cleaning chores were split MUCH more evenly than
my grandparents’. It was nothing to see
my Dad washing dishes or vacuuming the house.
In our home, my husband and I have somewhat fluid roles,
depending upon what is necessary on any given day. We have even actually flipped certain stereotypical
gender roles, since he does the vast majority of the cooking and I was the main
breadwinner for the first 12 years of our marriage. My children have grown up watching Dad make
some amazing foods and me mowing the lawn and shoveling snow, among other things. We discussed our experiences as children and
both agree that he came from a more traditional home, but neither of us has
really bought into the idea that males need to do certain things and females
other things. Although, I will admit
that when someone outside our family compliments “my” dish that we have brought
to a picnic, party, etc, he does not correct them. I do, however! I am hoping that our children are growing up
with the idea that they should do what they enjoy and are good at, and not be overly
concerned with what others think. Also,
as I was reading I found myself thinking of several individuals I have known in
my lifetime who have expressed either some concern or pride at not feeling as
if certain activities they enjoy “fit” cultural ideas of what men/women should
like and engage in. It is my hope for
the ones who were embarrassed that they will begin to embrace who they really
are and not be worried about what others may say.
This week’s article interested me greatly. With the condition of marriage in our culture
today being what it is, I believe that studies like this are more than warranted
and can be especially valuable. The idea
that marriage is a healthier situation for both men and women has been a
pervasive one for decades. I liked that
Kim and McKenry looked at a variety of marital statuses and compared various factors,
which may lead to more or less satisfaction within the relationship. It was interesting that cohabitating couples
did not seem to receive the same benefits as married individuals, and I would
really like more information about whether other factors could possibly have an
impact as well.
Corey,G.,& Corey, M.S. (2010). I never knew
I had a choice: Explorations in personal
growth.
(9th ed.). Belmont, California: Brooks/Cole.
Kim, H., & McKenry, P. (2002). The relationship between
marriage and
psychological
well-being: A longitudinal analysis. Journal of Family Issues, 23,
885-911.
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