“Conformity is the
jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth” – John F. Kennedy. This quote was one thing that I kept thinking
about while reading Chapter 8 (Corey and Corey, 2010). While reading about gender-role
socialization, I kept thinking that if we are trying to get people to conform
to act in a certain way, as a society we are in a way promoting
conformity. As a child, I never felt as
if I had to act a certain way or to conform to a set of traits. My parents encouraged my sister and me to be
the people who we were meant to be. I
never felt any pressure that some folks in the text experienced, and because of
this I am thankful.
Last week in class it
seemed we were talking about a similar topic.
I made the statement that I see myself, for the most part, being the ‘stereotypical’
male. After reading the list in Chapter
8, I was no longer so sure. While there
were many characteristics that I felt characterized me very well, there were
also some that I thought were not me at all. For example, some of the characteristics that
I thought I possess were independence, drive to succeed, and
competitiveness! This is really funny
because if my sister were to read this she would probably have a problem with
this list and competitiveness being more of a masculine trait because she is
probably the most competitive person I know.
What’s even funnier is that she blames this trait on me because as young
children we were always playing games and trying to beat each other in
everything (basketball, bowling, cards, etc.).
Being the older sibling, I usually won in these events, but you better
believe that she gave it her all when we were playing. But our parents never told us not to compete;
in fact, I believe that the trait of competitiveness actually helped us later
in life to succeed in many aspects of life.
As Ricky Bobby would say, “If you’re not first, your last!”
Some of the traits
that do not define me are emotional unavailability and lack of bodily
awareness. I actually never thought of
conveying your emotions and describing how you feel as feminine traits. I actually really like to talk to people and
help them through emotional distress. I
also like it when people help me when I am not feeling up to par. I also try to promote good health by being
aware of my body. I try to eat right and
exercise every day. When I am feeling
sick, I acknowledge my feelings, and I try to make myself better. I don’t see myself as a machine that will
never break down or wear out.
I liked the whole
section on androgyny. I feel to be an
effective teacher, you need to be able to adjust to students’ behavior to what the
situation requires in integrated and flexible ways. As a teacher, I do see myself as
understanding, affectionate, and considerate, independent, and firm. In my opinion, I feel that you need to find a
good mix of the characteristics I mentioned to be an effective teacher. When students have a problem and come to you
for advice, I think it’s important to be able to do so. If as a teacher, your response is always “suck
it up buttercup,” I don’t feel like you are going to be teaching long.
I also thought the
online article (Kim and McKenry, 2002) was interesting. I am not sure if I could relate to everything
because I was never married. I could
understand some of the things that they were talking about in the article
including the fact that marriage leads to lower incidence of depression and can
make couples more ‘flexible’ when things don’t always go their way. Also, these married individuals have a sense
of purpose because they are married which also helps them and the way they feel. Being single, I also have these feelings, so
I am unsure if I can completely relate to everything in the article. Maybe one day I can put my stamp of approval
on this article when I test the waters of married life. I hope one day!
Corey, G. & Corey,
M. S. (2010). Becoming the Woman or Man You Want to Be. In Brooks/Cole (9th edition), I
Never Knew I Had a Choice (226-255). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole, Cengage
Learning.
Kim, H.K., & McKenry,
P.C. (2002). The relationship between marriage and psychological well-being.
Journal of Family Issues, 23(8), 885-911.
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