Week 8

This week as I read through the chapter, I spent a lot of time reflecting on my past and how that has played a role in me becoming who I am in terms of gender roles.  Before reading the chapter, I would have described myself as having qualities associated with both genders.  Although I still believe this true, after spending more time reflecting, I realize I am pretty feminine.  I believe that I am my true self, and that’s a really great feeling.  

Growing up, my parents did not pressure me towards any particular role.  I dressed the way I wanted to (except my mom refused to buy me anything “tacky” like shirts with anything stuck to it-i.e. pom poms).  My sister and I were always encouraged to participate in the sports or activities we wanted.  I’ve played soccer my whole life, and I think that is one area of my life where the more masculine traits would come out. When I’m on the field I am very aggressive, become very determined, and believe it or not- I spit on the ground!  This is probably the only aspect of my life where I become competitive.  

One thing I think has led me to be more feminine is my size and differences with my sister.  I was always the smaller child, even though my sister is younger.  My sister was always very strong, aggressive, competitive and driven.  We tell her we adopted her from Russia, because she has the muscles of a Russian gymnast.  So naturally, there I was- weak, not competitive, and always running and screaming as my sister chased me down.  Even as I grow older, I think people associate me with being girly because of my size.

The thing is, I like being feminine and acting “girly”.  I like to put on makeup and perfume and get all dressed up.  Wearing dresses are fun, and finding shoes to match is even better.  I think it’s a wonderful part about being a woman.  Often times I feel like having good manners is mistaken for being too feminine.  I will sit with my legs crossed and my hands on my lap, say please and thank you and expect a man to hold a door for me.   I don’t think that has anything to do with gender roles, but manners.  However, I think others would see that differently.   I suppose this was all a very roundabout way of telling you that I am my true self and I am so happy I can say that, because there are a lot of others who cannot.

As we take on the role of school counselors, we have the opportunity to help others become/be their true selves.  We can hold boy’s and girl’s groups to allow students to express themselves in unique ways (Corey & Corey, 2008.)  We can also help others become comfortable with themselves through dialogue and reflection like the ones in the text.  

Corey, G. , & Corey, M.S. (2008). I never knew I had a choice: Explorations in personal growth (9th ed.). Belmont, California: Thompson Brooks/Cole. ISBN: 9780495602293.