Monday, April 1, 2013

Individually Speaking 8



    What does it mean to be a man or a woman anymore? The Corey’s (2010) propose that traditional male and female roles are changing with the current economy and society. The prevalence of gender dividing, laborious farm and manufacturing jobs is decreasing as our world becomes more technologically advanced. The information/technology age allows gender roles within careers to diminish. Men and woman are equally able and willing to perform home roles and employment roles. Historically, the roles of mother and father have also been defined by the separation of career and home. I believe society’s view of the “family” has also been influenced in these changing times. With the increasing numbers of blended families, single parents, foster families, and gay and lesbian parents, the distinction of gender roles is being rubbed out.

     I have chosen to stay at home with my children. This traditional decision has had its challenges, but it has been the right choice for me. My decision was based somewhat on my own upbringing. My own mother was a stay at home parent. The consistency of her support and presence was both a safety net and a boundary; I was supervised and accountable. I knew I wanted my children to have the same consistency through myself or my husband. The challenge for me comes when I consider re-entry into the workforce. I recognize how my skills and abilities are comparatively outdated compared to students entering the field. The struggle to keep up with advances in careers is genderless, but more apparent among those who leave the workforce to raise children. Thankfully, I do have life experience and my love of learning to keep me in pace. I would not alter my decision to stay home. I feel fulfilled as I continue to grow, learn and create my path. 

     In their 2002 study, Kim and McKenry found that people in happy, legally bound relationships report more psychological well being than those in lesser committed relationships. Cohabiting did not provide a deeper sense of well being as I would have guessed in their research. However, in reflection upon my own relationships, cohabiting had a time limit. It was a step closer to marriage or dissolution. I personally felt the relationship needed further growth, as though we were young adults not yet ready for the “real commitment”. I knew I was not satisfied cohabiting for the rest of my life. I am also unsure if cohabitation were a life enhancing choice. Hearing the conviction of some of my group mates against cohabitation gave me pause to take a closer look. Cohabiting was convenient, but the deeper base level security that marriage provides allows me to grow in and out of the relationship. Of course it cannot be told whether any different path will, with all certainty, lead to the same outcome. It is true however that all of my decisions have led me to where I am and for that I am grateful.

Corey, G., & Corey, M.S. (2010). I never knew I had a choice: Explorations in personal
growth (9th ed.). Belmont, California: Thompson Brooks/Cole. ISBN: 9780495602293.

Kim, H.K., & McKenry, P.C. (2002). The relationship between marriage and
 psychological well-being. Journal of Family Issues, 23(8), 885-911.

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