Blog #11

Blog #11 – 4/23/2013

Solitude is something that I not only enjoy, but also actually find necessary.  It’s not that I do not enjoy the company of others, at least certain others J, but I am a much better spouse, mother, friend, teacher, and person in general if I am able to take a little time for myself.  I cannot tell you how very much I enjoyed Maya Angelou’s practice of taking a day each month for herself to recharge her battery.  I certainly understand that loneliness is a common phenomenon that everyone will experience at some, and most likely many, points in their lives.  It was very interesting and thought provoking to consider how loneliness changes throughout the life span.  I would encourage my counseling students to acknowledge the difference between loneliness and solitude in their lives.  I hope that I would be able to help them identify each within the context of their experiences and recognize how this knowledge can tell them something about how they may be feeling about a situation.  I completely agree that feeling lonely can be a huge indicator that one is actually very unhappy with the status quo and may need to change.

The Hodgson article was an interesting one to consider.  I like the idea of forgiveness, for others as well as ones self.  I really tried to consider whether I am a forgiving person.  I spoke with my husband and children about this, and apparently I have some work to do in this area.  I seem to take a while to get angry about stuff, but when I do it also takes me a while to calm back down and forgive the transgression.  I really try not to “keep score” in my relationships, but then again there are some things that are almost impossible to forget.  At that point, one must decide whether or not to continue the relationship, and on what basis.  Even in a situation in which someone decides to discontinue the relationship, forgiveness still plays an important part.  It may be necessary, and I believe is definitely healthy, to forgive the offender even if it is for one’s own sake.  Cultivating the ability to recognize when you are holding on to poisonous feelings such as resentment, anger and even hatred is the first step in rectifying the situation and letting go of the negativity.  I would certainly encourage any student to do their best to acknowledge when the process of forgiveness (of themselves and others) would be beneficial in their lives and to actively try to give that forgiveness, if only to make their own lives better.

Corey,G.,& Corey, M.S. (2010). I never knew I had a choice: Explorations in personal growth. (9th ed.). Belmont, California: Brooks/Cole.

Hodgson, L. K., & Wertheim, E. H.,  (2007). Does good emotion management aid forgiving?  Multiple dimensions of empathy, emotion management and      forgiveness of self and others.  Journal of Social and Personal Relationships,      24, 931-949.