In regards to the reading for this week I actually
found both the Corey & Corey (2008) text and the Fleishmann et al (2005)
article to be very interesting but for separate but very alike reasons. I want
to start off by saying that the reason I found them interesting for like
reasons is that I think both of them had an antagonistic viewpoint to my life
currently. The thing is I felt that the book was only antagonistic towards men.
It felt like it was attacking men while at the same time when women engaged in
these same activities that it was okay to do. Like when the book talked about
pleasing partners in bed. It made it seem like both parties are interested in
this but that men are the ones that take it to this deep personal level of a
challenge. I think that in reality both parties take pride or grievance in this
aspect of sex but it’s just a stereotype that men care about this aspect more.
However, one thing I really liked about the book was
how it talked about where we as a society get out messages on sex from a young
age all the way to adulthood and house it causes hesitance, confusion and
misconceptions. This reminded me of a program I attended in College entitled “I
Heart Female Orgasm.” Not only do I love it for the awesome shirt I have but
because it was an awesome program that made me think that if I weren’t going to
be school counselor I’d actually want to be a Sex Education Counselor akin to
what they do. Just like in the book they talked about the only place people
openly talk about and explore sex is usually in a collegiate setting. But the
main thing that they talked about was how the average person is learning about
sex through either school education or pornography either of which is an
extreme on a continuum when where we need to be is in the middle. As I said in
class earlier in the semester I think that open talks like this are very much necessary
and I’m glad the book agrees.
I liked that the article related to the text through
the whole the way you act in these situations is based on considering others’
feelings as a result of your actions. But that was about it. For the most part
it was incredibly hard to get into the article because as ridiculous as it
sounds my wife and I haven’t gotten overtly jealous with one another if at all.
In fact, it kind of pissed me off at the end when the article asserted that “if
jealousy is never experienced “one must be either be very sure that losing a
love one to another is simply impossible or must not care very much about their
partner.” To that I say that maybe the person is actually mature in their
relationship? I mean some of the things the article was getting across that
people do were just ridiculous and I wrote in quotes several time that “this is
a dick move” the only one of which I could see is trying to boost my
self-esteem through evoking jealousy. I mean some of the measures they included
were used because they were so common. Some of these were ridiculous things
like “I send flowers to myself” or “I leave fake phone numbers lying around.”
Really? Who has time for all that noise?! The only one I thought was
half-decent was being told that somebody hit on the other person in the
relationship which still isn’t jealousy-evoking to me.
Corey, G. & Corey,
M.S. (2008). I never knew I had a choice: Exploration in personal growth (9th
Edition). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole
Edition). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole
Fleishmann, A.A, Spitzberg,
B.H., Andersen, P.A., & Roesch S.C. (2005). Tickling the monster: Jealousy
induction in relationships. The
Journal of Social and Personal
Relationships. 2005; 22; 49. DOI:
10.1177/0265407505049321
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