This
chapter was very interesting to me because it brought up several of the things
I often find myself mulling over. For
instance, growing up, my mom stayed at home with myself and my two younger
brothers. As long as I can remember my
mom did not work and I loved it! This allowed my mom to be at all my soccer
games and I knew that she was always available if I forgot my homework or
needed to be picked up from school. Up
until a few years ago I knew that I wanted to stay at home with my kids just
like my mom had the opportunity to do with us.
My
senior year of college, my parents went through a very nasty divorce. My mom was left with absolutely nothing (Side
note: Relating to the Kim & McKenry article (2002), this could potentially be
a reason to become more depressed after a marriage has ended). Luckily she had a college degree, but because
she had been out of work for twenty years she had a very hard time finding a
job. This completely changed my
viewpoint on the entire situation. Not
only because of what happened to my mom, but because it also puts a lot of
pressure on the marriage itself. No
longer can each spouse be equal because they both have completely different
roles and it leaves the wife in a very dependent position. I realize that marriage is a partnership; however
I do not want to have to depend on another person for my survival. I know that there are huge positives and
negatives to each side of this debate and it is something that I find myself
constantly thinking about. I can only hope
that I will have come up with a solid plan by the time I have any children!
Another
important topic in this chapter was when it discussed how even when family
members aid in doing household chores, they feel like they are only “helping
out” the woman with things that are her responsibility (Corey & Corey,
2008, p. 241). I completely relate to
this because anytime my husband does things around the house, I feel like I
need to thank him for what he did. I am
very lucky in that my husband does a lot around the house, but I do not know
why I ultimately feel like the household chores are mine to do and that I need
to be thankful when he does some of the things that I typically do. I love that we both try to be appreciative of
what each other does and thank one another when we realize that I’ve done something
around the house; however I do ultimately feel like if something does not get
done, it is my fault.
I think
that this chapter is something that will stay with me for a long time. These are things that we need to be more conscious
of, both as individuals and as counselors.
As a counselor it is important for me to better understand the mind of
males so that if a student comes to me, I will have a better understanding of
where they are mentally coming from.
Corey,
G., & Corey, M.S. (2008). I never knew I had a choice: Explorations
in personal growth (9th ed.). Belmont,
California: Thompson Brooks/Cole.
Kim,
H.K., & McKenry, P.C. (2002). The relationship between marriage and
psychological well-being.Journal of Family Issues, 23(8), 885-911.
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