Post 11

            I found this week’s study done on forgiveness to be very interesting. I thought that it was really beneficial for Hodgson and Wertheim (2007) to use significant others as another source for data. This element I felt help to validate the answers that the participants gave on their self-reports. I think forgiveness is something that a lot of individuals have a hard time doing. I know for myself personally I am very good at forgiving family and friends, but when it comes to forgiving myself I have a lot of work to do in this area. I think I have a hard time forgiving myself because I know the pain that I caused others by my actions and I feel like I am not deserving of their forgiveness. This is something that I really need to get over start working on immediately. I need to forgive myself for my own health and my own sanity. If others are willing to forgive me then I can forgive myself. We are all humans and we make mistakes, no one is perfect and we all deserve to be forgiven by others and by ourselves. 

            In Corey and Corey (2008) they made several good points about taking time for one’s self. Solitude allows for an individual to take time to reflect on what is going on in his or her life and analyze if they are taking the direction in life that they want. In the past I have had a hard time with solitude, I looked at solitude as being lonely, but in more recent years I have discovered that these two are completely different. 

Loneliness is a state that often happens to us not by choice (Corey & Corey, 2008). This past year I experienced true loneliness for the first time, I moved away from my hometown to Lancaster. For the first time in my life I was in an area where I knew nobody, or anything around. All I had down here was my fiancé and my cats, I went through transient loneliness. I hated that feeling, I am a very social person and being somewhere with no friends or family was torture for me. I spent many nights a week crying myself to sleep, there were so many times I just wanted to move back home, but I finally stopped throwing myself a pity party and decided to do something about it. I started to enjoy the time I had alone to focus on preparing for Grad School in the spring, finding a more professional job, and focusing on some personal areas of growth. Once I finally used my time alone for constructive uses I started building relationships and the loneliness has started to disappear. I think I can use this personal experience to work with high school students as they prepare for college. Leaving home for the first time is scary and can be a lonely experience. I think this chapter is very beneficial for any counselor and can be a fear for many people. Our society favors people who are busy and always doing activities I think it is important for us as counselors to make sure that we work with our clients to take time for themselves.

Corey,G.,& Corey, M.S. (2008). I never knew I had a choice: Explorations in personal growth. (9th ed.). Belmont, California: Thompson Brooks/Cole.

Hodgson, L.K., & Wertheim, E.L. (2007). Does good emotion management aid forgiving? Multiple dimensions of empathy, emotion management and forgiveness of self and others. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 24; 931-949.