Holly Miller #9

          Developing a sexual identity is crucial to identity building even though it is something we rarely talk about. Corey and Corey (2010) assert that it is important that your sexual behavior be congruent with your value system. This is how I have tried to live my life.
I feel I developed a pretty strong sense of values early on. I remember both of my parents teaching me about issues of sexuality in a consistent and loving way. Both of my parents taught me that while sexuality was a part of the whole identity, it was only one part of the aspects that made up Holly. I was always taught to pay equal attention to all aspects of personality and self and treat each one with importance.
          In regards to sexual behavior, my parents encouraged me to abstain from sexual activity at young age but they never made it taboo or uncomfortable to talk about it. It was just something they felt came later in life and now I feel they were right. I remember both parents teaching me that adults had their whole adult lives to be sexual creatures, but only a short time to be fairy princesses or unicorns.  I was never pressured to leave my childhood too early and I am so thankful for that. I think childhood (even when it is found again later in life) is one of the keys to happiness.
           During high school, I  saw many hearts break because of sexual activity and that made me want to wait until a later point in life. I remember some of my friends getting their hearts broken in high school by guys they chose to be intimate with. I always felt so sad about that and I never fully understood the hurt they must have felt. I just knew I was always there for my friends and spent many long hours with the phone cord wrapped around my books while talking to friends and studying at the same time.
         As I grew older, I began to understand the intimacy associated with sexuality. Corey and Corey discuss the importance of learning to identify myths and misconceptions about sexuality. Myths are passed around in probably every middle and high school in the country. Thank goodness I had good parents to guide me when I heard things and I was always allowed to ask them questions, even if they seemed embarrassing.
       As future school counselors, we must be aware that our students will face issues involving their sexuality. It is important to be affirm to students that their thoughts are okay and that they are normal. It is also important to know the resources in your community (including crisis and rape centers) just in case.