As I was reading chapter 9, I couldn’t help to ask myself, “Have I been going about it wrong this whole time?” I perceive sexuality as a very touchy subject. When is a good time to sit down to talk about sex? Let me mark it down in my calendar! All joking aside, people of all ages can experience difficulty talking openly about sexual matters (Corey and Corey, 2010). I guess I view sex as something that should be behind closed doors. It is intimate, meaningful, and personal. Sex is simply not an easy subject to discuss over dinner.
After I read chapter 9, I began to see the benefits of open communication with a partner about sex, sensuality, and intimacy. After all, if you are having sex with your partner, who else would you discuss these items with? Wouldn’t you want them to know how you felt, what you liked, and what they liked? Wouldn’t knowing the answers to these questions make sex between the both of you better?
Obviously, I have a lot of thoughts about the topic. It could be because my perception of sex and what it entails has changed drastically over the years. I am not going to lie, in high school and some of college; I did not realize how meaningful the act of sex was. If I was attracted to a girl and we were dating, I thought that sex was a must. After my sophomore year of college this perception changed. I began to view sex morally as opposed to satisfactory. Sex was not simply a given in a relationship, it was the most intimate and beautiful part of a relationship. I have continued to hold this opinion true today, but it is something I have struggled with over the years.
During my sophomore year of college, I wanted to learn more about God. I felt an emptiness and confusion in my life that would not go away. As I learned about the Catholic faith and its teachings, I became very close to a girl who was raised Catholic. She became a mentor, and we became more than friends as the year progressed. Our relationship was pure, and I realized that I did not have to have sex with her to love her or to know that I loved her. Sex and the intimacy that intertwines it was something that could wait. It was our vocation and growth together that was most meaningful at that time. Sex turned into an act that could wait until marriage.
I may have a biased perspective. In high school and college, I found that sex complicated relationships. It added a whole new realm to the relationship. I would often ask, now what? Now that we have had sex, what is next?
The article for this week was difficult to read. I have never been one to intentionally make another jealous. At the same time, I rarely get jealous over things. If I do, I lay it out there by discussing it with my girlfriend. We openly communicate how we feel whether it is negative or positive. I guess it was hard for me to believe that others go out of their way to make their partner jealous, especially if they truly believed that it would have a positive effect on their relationship.
Corey, G. & Corey, M. S. (2010). Your Body and Wellness. In Brooks/Cole (9th edition), I Never Knew I Had a Choice (106-131). Belmont , CA
Fleishmann, A.A, Spitzberg, B.H., Andersen, P.A., & Roesch S.C.
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