Blog 11

I would like to preface this blog post by saying that I have become solid in my belief over the semester that the Coreys are following my life and purposely writing this textbook in rhythm with my experiences. How can it be so relatable every week?

                Some of you know that I recently broke up with my boyfriend. Now, you may think that I will write this blog post about the loneliness following a break up (you’re wrong). Instead, I will risk sounding like a teenage harlot and focus on the loneliness I’ve been feeling since my “rebound” men have stopped talking to me. Rather than focus on my pining woes, I will discuss the detriment that technology has added to the transient loneliness that Corey and Corey (2010) describe on page 318. With the ending of a relationship and a lack of interest from subsequent men that I have come to show attention to, I am certainly experiencing a disruption in my social life. So I choose to immerse myself in my work, reading, writing, and friends. Corey and Corey outline my chosen activities as escapes from reality (pg. 319) and I suppose I agree with this, but I’m not actually escaping when I’m checking my phone every two seconds to see if a boy texted me (I’ve done it several times since I began this very blog). I suppose back in the pioneer days, women could churn butter and help steer the covered wagons to take their mind off writing a letter to their unrequited love, but today, even distractions are not distracting enough when I feel the buzz in my purse and disappointedly read a text message from my mom.

                In a more positive light, I related to Hodgson and Wertheim’s (2007) article because of a spiritual journey I began several years ago. Inspired by some friends in a 12-step program, I made forward progress in my life by making amends to people I have harmed in the past. My list of people was overwhelming (not incredibly long, but to see names and reasons listed on a piece of paper. . . ), and it involved speaking to people who I had felt equally wronged me. In order to be able to work on healing myself, I had to learn to forgive said people and focus on keeping my side of the street clean by letting them know how I felt I harmed them and that I would like to improve our relationship. Though I could have held on to my resentment toward some of them for the rest of my life, I realized that doing that would only hurt me, and would probably lead to a lonely existence.

Corey, G. & Corey, M. S. (2010). In Brooks/Cole (9th edition), I Never Knew I Had a Choice. Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole, Cengage Learning.

Hodgson, L.K., & Wertheim, E.L. (2007). Does good emotion management aid forgiving? Multiple dimensions of empathy, emotion management and forgiveness of self and others. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 24; 931-949.