Post 8

           I was waiting until today to post because I finally stepped up my game and told my brother how I have been struggling with him (Corey and Corey, 2010). Last week I noted that our relationship has gradually become worse over the years, and I felt that reading the chapter about relationships helped put my frustration into words. Yesterday, I had the opportunity to share these words with my brother. Usually, the conversations that we have revolve around sports or the future of my life or his. This time, I made it a point to focus on our relationship, and how I viewed it. I told him that our lives are quite different, but that does not mean that we can’t have a healthy relationship. I went on to tell him that I loved him, but over the years I have been frustrated with him because of the relational distance that grown over the years. I let him know that I want to be more involved in his life, and that I hoped that he would include me in what is going on in his. I acknowledged the fact that I do live in York, but a simple text or phone call could help keep us both intact with each other’s lives. Instead of me continually trying to set things up or calling, he could do the same. After I was finished, I asked him how he viewed our relationship, and how he felt about our relationship.

            His response and my unwillingness to confront my brother fit perfectly within the chapter that we recently read. After reading over the many characteristics that represent a stereotypical view of males, I could not believe how my demeanor, personality, and attitude fit within them. The one I would like to touch upon is the protection of inner self. My brother and I did not have a father figure in our lives. As I mentioned in the previous blog, my brother was the closest father I have ever had. I know my brother is strong willed, and he would be the last to show his emotions. He is tough and strong not only because he is a male, but more importantly, because of his past. I am very similar to my brother in this aspect, but most people say (our family and friends who have known us for some time) that Chad is a closed vault.

            Of course, I understand why my brother is like this, and I respect him for what he has done for me when we were younger. Hell, if he wasn’t like that, we would have never become the men we are today. At the same time, it is very difficult to open up to my brother for this reason. As I mentioned before, our conversations revolve around sports and our future (mainly mine because he has hopes that I will be back in Altoona). We have never talked about love, relationships, or feelings. If I had tried to bring these topics up in the past, he would laugh it off as if I were joking. So bringing forth this conversation yesterday was a big step for the both of us.

            His response was one that protected him. He said that he did not feel that anything was wrong with our relationship. Did his response surprise me? To be honest, it didn’t. What surprised me was what he said before I drove back to York today. I’ll give you a call on Thursday to see how everything is going.

Corey, G. & Corey, M. S. (2010). Your Body and Wellness. In Brooks/Cole (9^th edition), I Never Knew I Had a Choice (106-131). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole, Cengage Learning.

Kim, H.K., & McKenry, P.C. (2002). The relationship between marriage and psychological well-being.Journal of Family Issues, 23(8), 885-911.